How to Recover When Your Partner Gets Sober

It’s not only helping your partner recover from alcoholism but also building a life of renewed trust and support for each other. There is no universal experience of sobriety, but when GQ spoke with a range of people who have given up drugs and alcohol, there was unanimous consensus that it changed their relationship to sex. Everyone we spoke with about sex post-sobriety, expressed this idea in one way or another.

Stonewalling vs The Silent Treatment: Are They The Same?

Neither of us pretended to know the right way forward. But he listened and he tried to meet me where I was at. If I needed him to not drink in front of me, then he would. Discipline was challenging for 1,000 different reasons and none of us could quite get it right. He became both my support system and my target and we were utterly codependent as many alcoholics can be (me, not him). My husband had his own battles which are not mine to tell.

Is Addiction Hereditary?

  • If I needed him to not drink in front of me, then he would.
  • A therapist can help you address underlying issues that may trigger alcoholism.
  • Though each journey is unique and laden with its own set of obstacles, countless couples have walked this path and emerged stronger.
  • Here’s how we can face our triggers with less reactivity so that we can get on with our lives.
  • When one partner decides to change their behavior (quit using drugs and alcohol), it causes ripples throughout the family system.

If this was repeated severally, the spouse lost all trust and have difficulty trusting the now sober guy again. They wonder what makes this time different, treading the relationship with fear as they did previously, fearing triggering an argument or a slip. Remember, AUD is not a personal failing—it is a medical condition that requires treatment, support, and understanding, much like any other disease.

Making amends and rebuilding trust

Addiction is the third most-cited reason for divorce in the United States. Had I not gotten sober, we likely would’ve gone that way as well. I was lonely, but I also wanted to be left alone to drink however I wanted to drink. In Sober House the first few months, the novelty of a new country and life was enough to keep my drinking a mostly social endeavor, albeit a reckless one. If you’re a woman, you can drink for free pretty much any night of the week if you want.

  • Studies show that a healthy support system is a significant factor in an individual’s success in recovery and lowers the risk of relapse.
  • We had a clear vision of our life together that had been interrupted by his substance use disorder.
  • Your partner should respect your choice to abstain from drugs and alcohol, and they should understand if you decline invitations to go to bars or parties that may increase your cravings.
  • Addiction is the third most-cited reason for divorce in the United States.
  • For individuals or loved ones grappling with substance abuse, the Sober Living Program by Design for Recovery provides a secure and supportive environment.

An individual may seek comfort in another person to replace the high they used to seek in drugs or alcohol, forming an unhealthy attachment to a relationship. Social media is full of what I refer to as rainbows and cotton candy posts about sobriety from addiction. I don’t get much out of the unicorns and bubblegum inspiration about how everyday is perfect in sobriety. And I imagine those posts are insulting to the spouse of an alcoholic in recovery who is dealing with the reality of resentment and distrust. A picture of a sunrise with a snappy caption is an indignity to the couples trying to hold their families together in sobriety.

Suggest Sober Activities

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top